Friday, August 05, 2005
i don't see the good
i really did ask god today, "where the fuck are you?"i attended a graveside memorial for my co-worker's husband today. he suffered with cancer for years. they were so excited to find out he was going to get the organ transplant he desperately needed. they knew going into it that there was a 50% chance he would not survive the surgery and that his body would reject the organ . . .
he died on monday.
they have a baby. A BABY! and three other children. the oldest can't be out of high school yet.
shit.
what's the point? why didn't god do something? i know everyone has answers like, "he will bring good from it" or "maybe you'll never see the reason" but really, his family needs him. his baby will grow up without ever remembering his face. he wonderful wife will raise their kids alone.
my heart is broken for them. and i have questions for god.
why did this have to happen? why did he suffer and fight and live and love and give and be loved back only to be buried today much too early?
i've been very emotional these past few days, but i know this is not an overreaction. during the service, the priest (or whatever he was, i don't really know) said that god's love is perfect and his peace is beyond understanding . . . he didn't make any claims about whether or not this happened for a reason . . . but i need a reason.
why?
say it don't spray it 4:46 PM
16 i heard that
